To You Whom I HATE The Most Chapter 9
Ninth Letter
Cen Wei replied, "Okay, got it."
Jing Shenyan got up from his chair, saying he was going outside for a smoke.
Their seats were close together, and Cen Wei wasn't sure if the sound from the phone had leaked, causing him to overhear.
After the call ended, she put down her phone, hunched her back, and let out a tired sigh.
She hadn't eaten much all night, but her glass of sake was refilled again and again.
Cen Wei had a natural talent for drinking, and even when she drank too much, it never showed on her face.
Since the Qingming Festival holiday started the next day and they didn't have to work, everyone was in a great mood. With the Xincheng project going smoothly, Cen Wei didn't hold back and just kept drinking.
By the time the dinner was over, it was nearly eleven o'clock. One by one, those with family were picked up. Jing Shenyan made sure to arrange for everyone else to be sent off in taxis. In the end, only he and Cen Wei were left standing outside the restaurant.
The new apartment was very close to his house, so Jing Shenyan offered to give her a ride. Cen Wei didn't refuse, fearing that being too deliberate in avoiding him would be impolite.
Jing Shenyan handed the car key to the designated driver, then turned around and called to Cen Wei, "Get in the car."
"Coming," Cen Wei said as she grabbed the strap of her bag and jogged over.
As soon as she got in the car, she started yawning. She was still conscious, but she was a bit tired after a busy day.
Soft music was playing in the car. She was sitting alone in the back seat, her head leaning against the window.
"Cen Wei, we're here."
Cen Wei opened her eyes groggily.
Sleepiness had hit her hard, and she didn't even realize when she had fallen asleep.
"You've reached your home," Jing Shenyan said again.
"Oh, okay," Cen Wei replied, wiping her face. She grabbed her shoulder bag and got out of the car.
She walked around to the passenger side and waved goodbye to Jing Shenyan through the window, "See you tomorrow."
Jing Shenyan nodded. "See you tomorrow. Go on up."
The evening breeze was cool. As Cen Wei stepped into the hallway, the motion-sensor lights turned on, illuminating her way.
Zhou Ran must be asleep. The living room was dark, and a faint beam of white light leaked in through the slightly open curtains.
Cen Wei collapsed onto the sofa, exhausted. She didn't even want to move a finger and just fell asleep face down.
She was woken up by a full bladder around 2 AM.
After coming out of the bathroom, Cen Wei felt thirsty again. She wasn’t sure how old the water in the thermos was, but she couldn’t be bothered to care.
She drank most of a cup in one go, letting out a satisfied sigh before heading back to the sofa. She picked up her phone from the carpet.
Someone had tagged her in the work group, asking if she had gotten home safely.
Cen Wei had gone straight to bed when she got back and hadn’t replied. Later, Jing Shenyan had responded, saying, “I watched her go upstairs, don’t worry.”
After a nap, she felt wide awake.
As luck would have it, the first thing she saw when she opened her Moments was her ex-boyfriend's latest post, which had been published fourteen minutes ago.
It was a link to a song titled "By Your Side."
Cen Wei smiled, finding it amusing. She hadn’t expected Bai Langrui to post a sad song on Cloud Music in the middle of the night. He didn’t seem like the type to do such a thing.
She pulled out her earphones and searched for the song in the music app.
——"Although it was me who initiated the breakup, I know, the one who stopped loving first was you."
They had talked a lot when they broke up, more than they had ever opened up to each other before.
But now, all Cen Wei could remember was this one line.
At that moment, she lowered her head and remained silent for a long time, before softly saying, "I'm sorry."
He smiled gently, his tone still warm, "It's okay, I don't blame you. It's my fault too."
"I thought I had forgotten how to miss you.
"And I hoped you'd come back today, facing the sunset.
"I remember holding your face.
"Quietly watching your eyes between my hands.
"Like autumn leaves, gently falling, softening the whole world."
The male singer's voice in the headphones was deep and tender as he crooned the gentle love song.
Cen Wei listened, feeling nothing in particular. She couldn’t be bothered to analyze whether Bai Langrui was reminiscing or just bored.
The piano notes fluctuated between soft and strong, and the vocalist's voice was unmistakably clear and pure, both sweet and sorrowful.
The Korean song was called "Love That Doesn't Work Out For Me," and Cen Wei had added it to her playlist, replaying it on loop many times.
She finally understood why people often felt depressed late at night.
The sky was dark, and the city was eerily silent, like a theater after a performance where all the lights had been turned off, the audience had left, and the curtain had slowly closed. The quiet after such a grand spectacle felt especially empty.
Cen Wei’s mood suddenly plummeted to rock bottom.
She didn’t want to admit that all of this was caused by a single post from her ex on his Moments, but the negative emotions that had built up inside her collapsed like a row of dominoes.
Her arms were soon damp with tears, her nose stuffy, her heart aching in sharp, rhythmic pulls. Cen Wei rubbed her chest hard, curling into a ball.
As the music from the headphones played, she was sucked into a gray, negative spiral, unable to hold back her tears.
The downside of playing music on shuffle was that it easily led to mood swings.
This wasn’t something she would normally do.
Cen Wei took off her headphones, sniffled, and let out a helpless sigh, half laughing, half crying.
"Are you okay?"
"Hm?" Cen Wei lowered her arm, squinting as she looked over.
Zhou Ran had somehow come downstairs, standing at the foot of the stairs with a water cup in his hand.
Hearing her voice muffled in her throat, Cen Wei quickly wiped her face. "I'm fine."
Zhou Ran's hair was smooth and neat, not at all like someone who had just woken up in the middle of the night.
Cen Wei: "Aren't you asleep?"
Zhou Ran took the last step, placed the water cup on the dining table, and faced her. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing," Cen Wei said, forcing a smile.
Zhou Ran stared at her, not convinced by the smile. "It's three in the morning, and you're crying."
It was still the same strong-featured, deep-set face, with narrow double eyelids and a slightly downward curve at the corners of his lips when his expression was neutral, giving him a hint of world-weariness.
Perhaps it was the lighting in the living room, or the strange atmosphere at that moment, but Cen Wei thought she saw a hint of concern, worry, or maybe even tenderness in Zhou Ran's expression.
She suddenly couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye.
"I'm sorry." Cen Wei lowered her head and turned away, her eyelids starting to burn again. The tears she had just managed to stop were threatening to spill over.
"What’s really going on?" Zhou Ran’s tone sounded a little urgent.
Her throat ached, and Cen Wei couldn’t speak. She sniffed, shaking her head.
After a brief silence, the man walked toward her, stopping in front of the armchair, and then opened his arms.
"Want a hug? Don’t overthink it, it’s just something between friends," he asked, a bit incoherent, "It's kind of weird, I know, but do you want one?"
Cen Wei looked up at Zhou Ran.
It was indeed a little weird.
But she opened her arms and went towards him.
When Cen Wei wrapped her arms around his waist, Zhou Ran lowered his arms and held her.
She only came up to his shoulder. With his height and broad shoulders, she was practically enveloped in his arms. The scent of pleasant wood lingered around her nose.
"Thank you," Cen Wei said quietly, her eyes closed in peace, her voice hoarse.
Something brushed against her hair, maybe his chin, or perhaps something else.
Zhou Ran said nothing, only tightening his arms around her.
On the sofa, the Bluetooth headphones lost their connection, and the record player on the screen paused.
The song that hadn’t finished playing was called "There For You."
——So when your tears roll down your pillow like a river
——I’ll be there for you.
The next day, the spring sunlight was bright and clear, a perfect sunny day.
Cen Wei groggily opened her eyes, a ray of sunlight streaming in and lighting up the white tiles.
She reached for her phone and checked the time. It was already 1 PM.
There was no one else at home. As she was washing up, Cen Wei remembered that Zhou Ran had mentioned he was going back to Shancheng for the Qingming Festival. She didn’t know when he had left. She had slept so deeply.
The electric toothbrush hummed, and Cen Wei looked at her reflection in the mirror. There were dark circles under her eyes, and the skin around her eyes was swollen beyond belief.
The memories of last night only lingered on that strange yet somehow natural embrace. She couldn't remember how she had fallen asleep afterward.
Had she really cried herself to sleep in Zhou Ran's arms?
Cen Wei inhaled sharply.
Two minutes passed, and the toothbrush automatically paused.
Yet Cen Wei remained in the same position, her gaze unfocused.
When she finally snapped back to reality, she didn’t know how much time had passed. In a panic, she turned on the faucet and rinsed the foam from her mouth.
"It’s just something between friends," Zhou Ran had said.
Maybe late at night, people become sensitive and soft.
So, it wasn’t a big deal.
Taking advantage of the holiday, Cen Wei cleaned every corner of the house.
Zhou Ran had left a coat draped casually over the back of a chair in the dining room. Cen Wei thought of putting it away, but as soon as she picked it up, she heard something drop to the floor.
Sitting cross-legged on the sofa, Cen Wei threaded the cotton through the needle.
Noticing that the other buttons were also loose, she decided to fix them all while she was at it, tightening the threads as she went.
When Cen Yuetong called for a video chat, she was working on the third button.
Cen Wei propped the phone up on the coffee table and continued her sewing.
"Why didn’t you go on a spring outing? The weather’s so nice," Cen Yuetong said, wearing a white lab coat, looking like she was still working at the pet hospital.
Cen Wei replied, "I couldn't be bothered. Isn't it better to just stay home and sleep?"
Yawning, Cen Yue Tong complained, "No one’s come all day. I’m so bored. Hurry up and come back to hang out with me."
"Where’s Dr. Zhu? He should be coming back soon, right?"
"He said if everything goes smoothly, it’ll be in June."
"That’s great. Finally, the long-distance relationship will be over."
Cen Yuetong rested her chin on her hand. "To be honest, I’m still a little nervous."
"Nervous about what?"
"Don’t you understand the feeling of apprehension when returning home?"
"Hey, sis," Cen Wei asked curiously, "Are you really not worried about leaving him alone abroad for so many years?"
"What’s there to worry about?" Cen Yuetong replied. "He’s in the US, and these days, the time difference is almost nothing. I'm more worried about him suddenly dying over there than him having an affair."
Cen Wei laughed.
"Hmm?" Cen Yuetong leaned closer to the screen. "Who are you sewing for?"
Cen Wei blinked. "Who? I’m sewing for myself."
Cen Yuetong looked puzzled. "Is that your coat?"
"Of course it’s mine. I just bought it. The button was a bit loose, so I’m tightening it."
"Then let me see you wear it."
"Sure." Cen Wei stood up and put on the coat.
The effect was obvious, but Cen Wei still tried to play it off. "This is called the oversized boyfriend style. It’s really popular these days."
Cen Yuetong hummed. "Is it boyfriend style, or the boyfriend's style?"
"I’m hanging up. Byebye." Without hesitation, Cen Wei pressed the hang-up button.